Kids are Greedy and why the board game "Guess Who" is socially unacceptable (a little social commentary to brighten your day)

That title was an earful but its all true.

There have been some bad combinations in history: Ike and Tina, John and Yoko, and the 2003-2004 Los Angeles Lakers. But nothing is as bad as kids and toys.

Sure, kids need their toys but kids these days (said while adjusting my Effergrip laced teeth) don't know when enough is enough. They're just living in the Pokemon generation: they gotta have em all.

We had a "Market Day", where children cash in their reward stickers for money and exchange that for goods like pencils, pens, notebooks, and miscellaneous trinkets. There were also some toys for the children. It should have been a day of happiness and cheer. Instead, it brought on enough jealously and greed to make Tori Spelling blush (OH SNAP!). Their screams was the most horrifying experience ever.

• "Why teacher? Why can't I have that?"
• "Do you hate me teacher? No? then give me more money..."
• "I'm gonna cry until I get something...(15 min later)...I'm crying HERE!"

Never again, will I give out toys and cheer. I know why there were asshole teachers in schools. Because they were the smart ones. You give a kid too much and they'll walk all over you. You give them small rewards and only when the deserve it, you got yourself a happier kid: the kids might be toyless, but at least they're not gonna cry about it.

Market Day has made me cold.

So, on to Guess Who. Boy, there are some serious flaws in this games logic. This game was probably invented in the 1950's for the simple fact that it is damn near all white men on the board. If you ask the question "Is it a girl?" and the answer is "yes", then you're left with 5 people. Last time I checked, the world was pretty much down the middle on the male/female ratio. But children play this game and learn that you can't win being a girl. And the other minorities, at first glance they seem to be there, but when you look at their faces and names closely; there is probably not a middle eastern blue eyed man named "Dave" (my bad to Dave if he really is out there).

So what stared this rant. This is the most popular game at our school. Kids love it. They think this is the greatest game in the world. But I can't keep answering the question "Why are there no people who look like me on this board?" So I've devised only one possible answer to this:

Milton Bradley hates Asian people.

Correction: Soju is made of rice, not potato as I had stated earlier. Potatos can be added later for flavor. Please stop your distilling process immediately and start again with rice. I'm sorry for the inconvience. (thanks Regina)

You have the right to drunk dial (A welcome back story to Blogging)

Dear Readers,

Welcome back.

That was geared more towards me than to you. Its a Thursday night and I've just finished watching my favorite Korean soaps and its on to the zany (but actually unfunny) Korean comedies (for an example, click this ). Then, it hit me. The reason why I haven't blogged in so long. The force that was keeping my brain from typing my pointless blurbs about the motherland:

They've got me.

It was somewhere between my second helping of Kimchi and cheering for the Korean soccer team, that I realized that somewhere along the line, I put down the red, white, and blue and traded it for red, white, and blue...hmm bad example.

But I'm back, and I promise never to stray from this blog which keeps the bridge between me and Americaland (as they affectionately call it here). So lets catch you up on a month of me:

• A birthday has come and gone. It was uneventful. Really. A cake and some beer. Pictures aren't necessary. I'm 23. I eagerly await the day when my car insurance gets lowered.
• I've started piano lessons. Its an hour everyday before work where I play a glorified version of chopsticks in a 5 by 5 cell with a chair designed for a six year old. I mean, look at that book. I hope to swoon Korean women with a rousing version of the "the elephant march" or "goodnight moon".
• I love Lost. Its bad. I wait every week for Thursday morning to come (that's Wednesday night for you). They usually post the shows for download an hour after its on TV and it couldn't come any sooner. As I type, I'm about to watch the craziness unfold on my computer screen through this freshly downloaded episode. Thank you Internet, thank you.
• I use Skype. Simply put, its the reason the Internet is around. I have the ability to place calls from my computer to any telephone all across the globe for mere pennies. Plus, I get a local number where people can call me. I can even forward it to my cell phone, so I can hear all of you sweet voices wherever I might travel to.

So brush up on your Korean. Here's a start.

안녕 everybody! ah hem... I mean, catch you all later.